Rape victim wonders if childhood assault was her fault
Dear Amy: When I was 11 years old (almost 12) I had a huge crush on this guy.
He was 18, but he was like Fonzie and liked hanging around the younger crowd.
Someone we both knew told him I liked him, and one day he said he was going to camp in the hills where I lived. He asked if I wanted to come up and see him while he was camping, and I did.
After talking for a while, he asked if I wanted to play "Chicken." He would put his hand on my leg and slowly go up it until I said "chicken." He got to my knee and I said "chicken," but he didn't stop. He had his hand under my shirt before I knew it, and I was struggling to get away.
I couldn't get away from him. He pulled my pants down. And he took advantage of me.
I screamed and I was crying so hard, but he wouldn't stop. The aftermath was shameful.
What just happened here? I didn't say yes to any fondling.
After all of these years, I wonder if I was raped, or if I got what I deserved?
-- Woman, Shamed for Life
Dear Shamed: Yes, you were raped. No, you did not "get what you deserved." No, you should not feel ashamed for being the victim of a violent crime. But shame is an unfortunately common reaction for people who have been sexually assaulted.
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