Successful son fails at relationship with mom
Dear Amy: My adult son is highly successful in a demanding field. He and I have had a close and loving relationship for all of his life -- until recently.
The more success and recognition he gains, the harder he is on me, finding fault with little things. This leads to a lecture on my "bad behavior," sending hurtful texts, and with the latest outburst, a complete breaking off of our relationship.
He and his wife are having their first child. I traveled to their home in another state for a pre-baby visit.
Prior to my arrival, my son had called me to say that he was in a tough emotional spot and to ask that I be aware of that. I was extremely careful. However, during a conversation, I innocently commented that I was happy that the name they chose for the baby was one I had once suggested. The response was an immediate and vicious attack, where he accused me of being "narcissistic" and "kicking him when he's down."
I was shocked and extremely hurt. I packed my things, said goodbye and left.
He first sent me a text apologizing for hurting me, but then later sent a very angry, very hurtful message that essentially cuts me out of his life.
His wife, with whom I have always had a good relationship, has remained silent.
Amy, I do not know how to process my pain. His father (now deceased) was an angry, emotionally and verbally abusive man, and I see the same traits in my son. I miss the son I used to know.
I have a chronic illness that for the most part is under control, but now I am unable to eat, sleep or stop crying. I am now worried about my health.
I don't know where to go from here.
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