Mother is perennially disappointed in adult son's choices
Dear Amy: I am a single mom. My main focus and passion has always been my children.
Yesterday was my birthday and I spent the evening with my oldest son, 31, and his girlfriend. They are fundamentally good kids and I enjoy being with them (for the most part).
However, I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop when it comes to my son.
He keeps making bad choices: DUI last year, and then after being sober for five months, he smoked pot and now has to go to jail for violating his probation.
He is now ineligible for most well-paying positions.
He's feeling bad, and I'm trying not to show how terribly he has disappointed me. He and his siblings have been my life's work.
I'm having an extremely hard time accepting that my son is a depressed alcoholic and will never live up to the vision I had for him, nor fulfill his own potential.
He's upset that he doesn't have the good life, and yet he's not willing/can't do what it takes to be successful. I feel like all my hard work has been wasted.
Also, he will not take medication for depression, nor admit that he needs to stop drinking.
How do I let him live his life and accept him, without the anxiety and sadness I feel over how he is wasting his life?
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