Dad needs to tell young sons their mom is dead
Dear Amy: I am an American man living in China with my two sons.
I left my wife because she was a drug addict. I paid for her to go to a treatment program, but it did not work for her. She died of an overdose.
My older son was 3 when his mother died; his younger brother was two. Neither boy seems to remember much about her. We moved to China a few months before she died.
Both boys think their mother is in America. I have not told them the truth about her. I don't think they know that she had any problems, or that she has died.
My older boy is proud to say (when asked) that his mom is in America. But I think that he surely must wonder why she is never in touch.
I know I need to tell my sons the truth. I would never tell them that she died of a drug overdose, but I wonder about the guidelines. How old should they be when I tell them their mother is gone forever?
My oldest son is 5 and the younger is almost four.
I'd really appreciate your help.
-- Lost
Dear Lost: I shared your question with Dr. Joshua Sparrow, director of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center at Boston Children's Hospital and Harvard Medical School.
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