Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Woman's crush on coach has shades of grey

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

How could he think I would be happy to see him? I'm completely broken up all over again, and it seems that all these years later I never really moved on. How can I get beyond this?

-- Sad

Dear Sad: First of all, good burn! He approached you and you denied him. Granted, you did so out of paralysis, but he doesn't know that.

This encounter triggered a long-buried traumatic memory for you. It seems to have erased all the years, and all of the recovery you've made, but it hasn't. You've only hit a skid.

I suggest you get out a pen and paper and make notes of all of your best moments in the past 34 years. Think about all you've done which this experience did not rob you of. Own this, proudly.

A professional counselor could help you make sense of your reaction, and put it into a healthy and forward-looking context.

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Dear Amy: Responding to the reader who was considering DNA testing for her adopted son: Please note that most of the DNA testing companies permit you the option of having your matching relatives notified, or not. There is no danger of relatives finding him as long as she selects the "do not notify" option.

-- Sacramento Reader

Dear Reader: Yes, various privacy options should prevent connections. Thank you.


(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)



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