Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Grieving parent wonders how to respond

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Your advice was that she "must report this" to her supervisor and/or adult protective services and to "do the right thing."

I was so appalled reading that advice. You, nor the caregiver, know what their relationship was like in the past, especially before the dementia. From the granddaughter's perspective, she is losing a part of her grandfather. It may just be her way of showing love toward him and she's obviously not trying to hide her behavior.

It sounds as though the caregiver feels threatened by the granddaughter's presence and a loss of control. If the caregiver is truly concerned about this behavior, she should contact the son or daughter of this man who probably hired her.

This does not sound like elder abuse to me.

-- Concerned RN

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Dear Concerned: Others agree with you. However, I felt the tone of the question from "Caregiver" was reasonable, rational and based on professional experience. When a professional (who understands dementia) expresses concern, then yes, I believe she is compelled to do something about it, but I value your take.


(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)



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