Grieving parent wonders how to respond
Our friendship appears completely one-sided, and doesn't seem to move past texting. I only see this friend if I travel to see him.
He doesn't get in touch, with the built-in excuse of being "busy." Whenever I try to plan something other than me going to his city, I usually don't get a response ... not even a, "Sorry, I can't." Just crickets.
He travels to see other friends and makes plans with other people often (I see his social media posts).
I am wondering if this is a real friend? Should I keep trying, or give up?
-- Annoyed in Ohio
Dear Annoyed: No, this is not a real friend.
This is a guy you happen to know.
Your contact with this person doesn't lift you up and make you feel good. It makes you feel inadequate and insecure.
So stop. Stop while you still have your dignity. If his social media posts about his awesome life and other more active friendships trigger self-esteem hits for you, you should hide his posts from view. Do your best to turn your attention and energy toward other people who reciprocate in a more balanced way.
Dear Amy: "Caregiver" recently wrote to you regarding an elderly man with dementia and his granddaughter that moved in and "snuggles" with him in his bed every night.
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