Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Cat ownership causes couple's concerns

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I've started to realize that I should probably rehome my cat. I adopted her four years ago when she was a kitten and she helped me to adjust to living on my own in a new city.

My fiance is allergic and "not a cat person." My cat is very rambunctious, gets into everything and likes to test authority. Having my fiance in the household for the past year has seemed to increase my cat's anxiety and the tension has been the source of almost every fight.

On top of that, my cat had a bumpy recovery after surgery and her anxiety since has been really difficult for me to manage. She gets upset if I even leave a room she is in.

I am gone 12 hours a day. I totally fail to give her the attention and care that she needs.

Several months ago my fiance told me that ultimately I would have to find a new home for her because it clearly wasn't working for everyone.

I didn't want to admit to him that I had already seriously considered rehoming her.


I know it's petty, but I want to give conditions before I agree. My conditions are that he has to get rid of his saltwater fish. If we ever consider getting pets, I want the final say.

The guilt of giving up this cat is crushing me.

Even if I find a better home for her, saying goodbye to my cat will rip me into pieces.

How do I navigate this?


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