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Dad wants new wife and kids to meet

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am a father with two adult children from a 25-year marriage that ended six years ago.

I got remarried 18 months ago to a woman that my adult children suspect ended my marriage to their mother (in reality, there were huge issues with my marriage of 25 years).

I accepted that my adult children would have nothing to do with the woman who is now my wife -- not even allowing her to share dinners out with them.

I have had therapists tell me that it may take years for adult children to accept a stepmother.

I continued to stay in touch with my children and have visited them without my wife, which wasn't easy for her. Obviously, she sees this as rejection. I was doing it because I love and miss my kids.

For the last six months, however, my 30-year-old son (who lives out of state) stopped communicating with me entirely. He made weak excuses during his recent trip home that he was too busy for him and his live-in girlfriend to meet me (and me alone), for dinner.

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This will devastate me until it is rectified.

Thankfully, my daughter continues to have a solid relationship with me. I emailed my son to try and "clear the air" and talk turkey about what is going on, but he does not respond.

I always try to take the "high road," but there are only so many times one can reach out before it is unhealthy for both individuals. I just hope he comes around soon and talks to me. Is there anything I can do with dignity to have my son stop ostracizing me?

-- Devastated

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