Adult education class leads to childish behavior
I'm not sure why you are keeping this secret so close. All of your worrying (and nagging) is not prompting your husband to change, but your anxiety, and the secrecy surrounding it, has become a burden which could affect your own health.
Your husband has emerged from a near-death experience clinging to a vice versus clinging to life. This might be a reflection of his own (secret) anxieties and terror.
You both assigned you the responsibility for getting him to quit smokeless tobacco. You cannot be responsible for his drinking. When you finally accept this powerlessness, you will be liberated.
Dear Amy: Responding to the letter from "Insomniac," who wondered if it would be OK to sleep in separate beds from her snoring husband, I'd like to say that my husband and I started sleeping apart two years ago.
In 24 years of marriage, it was the best decision we've ever made. We sleep better at night, and get along better during the day.
-- Well Rested
Dear Rested: I've had a huge (mainly positive) response to the idea of sleeping separately.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
