Bitter child torn about confronting father
Dear Amy: My mother died 10 years ago. My father, "Lucifer," started dating "Rebecca" within a week of my mom's funeral.
After two years, my father informed me that he was going to disinherit my brother and me in favor of "Rebecca" and her three spawn.
I begged my father not to do this, and told him he'd never see me or my kids again if he married her and disinherited us. He said he didn't care, and went ahead.
Fast-forward to the present. Rebecca has died, and Lucifer is trying to "mend fences." Meanwhile, he admitted to me that he has spent my mother's entire trust on Rebecca and her three spawn, so I am out the money I was supposed to get from my deceased mother after my father died.
I want nothing to do with Lucifer. He has betrayed my trust by turning his back on his "real" family in favor of a bunch of strangers. He has dishonored my mother's dying wish that he preserve the principal of her trust for me and my family.
I am so consumed by anger at the whole situation, I am finding it hard to get up in the morning and enjoy my day. I have a great life with a great husband and great kids, and we are not financially insecure by any means. How do I move past this?
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-- Fed Up in Florida
Dear Fed Up: Your own behavior has contributed to your rage.
For instance, you declared to your father that you would completely cut him off if he married "Rebecca," and yet one of the things that makes you so angry is that your father aligned with "strangers." Well, if you hadn't cut off your relationship, these people would not be strangers.
You can hold onto your rage so that it continues to interfere with your ability to enjoy your own life, or you can explore ways to release it.