Boyfriend wants to leave it in Vegas
Dear Amy: My boyfriend of two and a half years told me that he wants to have a "drunken one-night-stand" in Las Vegas.
What should I do?
-- Upset Girlfriend
Dear Upset: I'm assuming from your question that your boyfriend wants to have a drunken one-night-stand in Vegas with someone other than you.
The desire to have an encounter without consequence is fairly common -- I think that most people would admit to wanting this (or something like it) at some point in their lives. This is the plot that has launched a thousand bromantic comedies, and broken up as many relationships.
If this is a fantasy that you can imagine acting upon (and enjoying), then perhaps you two could give one another permission to do this.
However, you both must understand that this IS consequential behavior. In fact, when it comes to relationships, almost all behavior has consequences.
You should tell your boyfriend that he has free will and that it is not your job to stop him from doing what he wants to do. But -- if he decides to do this, there will be consequences to his choice (including consequences to the person he one-night-stands with). You could remind him that -- just as he might choose to take a one-night break from your relationship, you can also choose to take a break.
If he wants to hedge his bets, he might choose to have his one-night stand with you. He can pretend to be the weary traveling shoe salesman, and you -- the bored heiress with a secret.
Dear Amy: I'm a 31-year-old woman, and my brother is 37.
...continued
