Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Woman has transitioned from happy wife to 'old maid'

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

How can I make her change something she refuses to see?

-- Married Old Maid

Dear Married: You cannot force someone toward change if they refuse to recognize the need for change. However, one great thing about competent couples counseling is that a skilled counselor can coax a person toward recognizing the need for change, and can then coach a couple on ways to make these necessary changes.

Definitely try counseling. You need an outlet for expressing your feelings, and your wife needs a neutral party to reflect back to her how her words and behavior dents and damages the relationship -- and hurts you.

The behavior you report (put-downs, verbal attacks) is abusive and needs to stop. If she continues in this vein, you should consider leaving the marriage.

Dear Amy: I'm a woman in my late 20s. I've only recently realized that I'm an introverted person.

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This is what it feels like to be me: We all have a certain amount of battery in reserve for our social interactions and my battery happens to drain faster than other people.

Long chats or outings with friends leave me feeling exhausted and sometimes irritable.

I've discussed this with close friends and loved ones, but I haven't figured out how to make this clear to acquaintances.

For example, my office mate is a person who can speak for very long periods of time, often with no natural gaps where I can jump in and comfortably excuse myself.

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