The 'kids' reject Dad's new marriage. What now?
His marriage to you should be presented as a very happy occurrence, and his adult children should be encouraged in a friendly, firm and no-nonsense way, to accept it.
You don't say when your husband's late wife died, but you should all understand with compassion that his children might have difficulties with his new relationship. But they are adults. Giving them the option NOT to cope will not help them.
If your husband's daughter wants to have a happy and loving relationship with her father, she should be willing to meet you and accept the fact that you exist and that you are married to her father. She doesn't have to embrace you as a mother-figure, but yes, she does have to face reality.
The more often her father visits her without you, the more he is demonstrating through his actions that she has the option of rejecting you.
Yes, I think you should reach out. Write a friendly email inviting both of them to dinner on a specific night (if his son is in town). Expect that they will possibly ignore or reject the invitation. Choose not to take this personally -- because how can you? You've never met!
Strongly encourage your husband to handle this, quickly -- otherwise you could face a divided household, and that is no way to run a family.
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