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Emotional affair partner wants 'normalization meetings'

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

-- Torn

Dear Torn: I think that occasional "normalizing" meetings where you and your friend remind yourselves of the intensity of your romance as a way to move on from it, are the perfect trigger to rekindling the romance.

You (and he) seem to have already processed this relationship. You claim to already know what you need to know -- that your marriage is important to you, that you are committed to it and that this other relationship interfered with your marriage. Why, then, would you need yet more evidence that this extramarital relationship was not good for you?

In this case, "normalizing" sounds like an intellectually framed rationalization to see one another. I vote no.

I'd be interested in hearing from other readers regarding how they've recovered from intense emotional affairs.

Dear Amy: A very good friend of mine was to get married. Again -- for (about) the third time. She has called off each wedding with various excuses. The most recent wedding was one I was to be in.

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A week before the wedding, she called this one off with the excuse that he was not good looking.

She said, "Can you imagine waking up to him for the rest of your life?!" What upset me was she never called me to let me know the wedding was called off. I was very mad that she did not call me to let me know, and I told her that it upset me. She said, "You'll get over it."

My question is, should I hang on to this so-called friendship, or let it go?

-- Wondering

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