Grandmother wants to 'school' son and wife
I have nothing against tennis. Our daughter plays several sports and we cheer her on. Our son, however, is not sports-oriented. He loves to hike, be active and play guitar. We cheer him on equally. If she'd asked, I would have loved to have her help in paying for his guitar lessons.
My mother-in-law loves competition and sport, especially golf and tennis. I know she would like to connect with her grandkids this way. She has given our kids tennis rackets in the past. They just don't seem to have an interest in tennis or golf, and our parenting style is to let our kids choose their activities.
How do I respond to a tone-deaf gift that is more about what she wants than what he wants? And also respond to the slight I feel that she got him a gift she knew in advance I wouldn't like?
-- Taken Aback
Dear Taken Aback: Your mother-in-law knew that you wouldn't like this gift, but I assume she is hoping that your son would like it.
He should thank his grandmother for the gift and give it a try! If tennis doesn't turn out to be his thing, you can tell your mother-in-law, "I know it can be hard to find ways to connect with the kids; 'Bradley' is really into music lately, so he might enjoy guitar lessons. If you ever want a recommendation, feel free to ask."
Dear Amy: "Debating DNA" received news of an unexpected half-sibling through DNA testing. I was adopted many years ago. I used DNA testing to track down some members of my biological family. The results have been pretty mixed; but I prepared myself for that.
-- No Longer Debating DNA
Dear No Longer Debating: When tracking down previously unknown family members, it is important for people to emotionally prepare themselves for just about anything.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
