Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Security system catches dog-sitting scofflaw

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Your dogs' care and their health is really your responsibility (not hers), and it might be time for you to hire a compensated professional.

Dear Amy: My husband is furious that I did not tell him about a private episode in my sister's life, which had nothing to do with him or me.

He feels that since we are married, he had a right to know about it. I feel that it was hers to tell if she wanted to.

Then it came out that another family member spoke about it, and he can't get over that I didn't tell him.

This is apparently never going to be forgotten. He goes into a rage when he mentions it and says he can't trust me.

Is he justified?

-- Respectful of Privacy

Dear Respectful: No, your husband's anger is not justified.

Married couples should tell one another news that is relevant to their relationship; they should certainly not keep their own secrets from one another. But it is not a spouse's duty to disclose the secrets or challenges of other family members, unless this issue has an important bearing on the spouse's marriage.

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You say your sister's "private episode" has nothing to do with either of you. If she wanted your husband to know about it, she would have told him. You are not withholding news, but respecting another person's privacy.

You should reassure your husband that he can trust you to be discerning and discreet.

Dear Amy: I've never been tempted to respond, but your terse response to "Unappreciated Stepmom" has my blood boiling. You say that children don't have a duty to be grateful to their parents. I couldn't disagree more. I am very grateful to my parents for all they did for me.

You come off as more of a brat than the stepdaughter described in this letter.

-- Upset

Dear Upset: I maintain that children don't have this duty to feel grateful to their parents while they are children -- it is later in life, when children put things into perspective, that they should tap into their gratitude, express it and pay it forward to their own children.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


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