Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Future mother-in-law is a spoiler

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My fiance and I have been together for 10 years.

I have always had a rough relationship with my future in-laws, but this came to a head when my fiance's mother took him to lunch in order to tell him that she thought he was better off without me.

She said I was controlling, told him how much his sister dislikes me and how she feels I am taking him from his family. When my fiance told me what his mother said, I was heartbroken.

I don't understand why they think I am controlling, but I don't know how to change their perception of me. His family should not be involved in our decision-making for our lives, just as my family should not be.

His sister continues to ostracize me from the family, and since she is close to his mother, I feel as if she is influencing the family's perceptions about me. She has been very rude to me.

I dread seeing these people because I know I am going to be scrutinized and judged.

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Our wedding is in a few months. He wants us both to try, but they have never tried to get to know me. I don't want to deal with their negativity for the rest of my life, and I don't have faith that they will try to bridge the gap. I am unsure of how to move on from this.

-- In-Law Trouble

Dear Trouble: I realize that you have in-law trouble, but you don't seem to realize that you also have fiance trouble.

His mother thinks he would be better off without you. She mentioned that you are not liked by various members of his family. What, pray tell, was his motivation in repeating this to you?


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