Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Cultural differences make holidays challenging

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Your perception that this is "morbid" doesn't help, but even so, you should say to your son, "This isn't our tradition, but it is grandmother and grandfather's, and when we are with them, we need to respect it, OK?"

Dear Amy: My daughter cheated on her fiance. They have a child together, and the cheating episode happened last summer. My daughter takes full responsibility for her actions and knows she will live with this every day.

Now that the father of her child has taken her back, he uses sex as a way to keep her with him.

He says, "Let's have sex, so I know if I still want to be with you or not!" She says she feels forced to give in.

My daughter gives in against her will because she is afraid he will try and get custody of their child. I told her that is unlikely for a number of reasons, none of which I will get into now.

Even though what my daughter did is wrong and shameful, I am utterly mortified. I feel helpless as a parent and don't know what to tell her to do with this no-win relationship. I need your thoughts about this issue.

-- Helpless

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Dear Helpless: If your daughter is being coerced, manipulated or feels forced to have sex (by your description, she is), then this is a form of partner assault, and she should leave the relationship. I understand that you feel helpless, but you should encourage and support her to leave.

Dear Amy: I was gobsmacked by the question from "Wondering Mom" who was actually shocked that she couldn't find a thong-style bathing suit for her young daughter to wear at the beach! Yikes! Thank you for your wise counsel against this.

-- Faithful Reader

Dear Faithful: Many readers were as shocked as I was. Sexy swimwear is not appropriate for children.


(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)



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