ArcaMax

I also want to stop feeling offended that she has made little effort to meet me because I know it's not completely her fault. Do you have any advice that could help me in this situation?

-- Longing to Meet Mom

Dear Longing: You and I are both guessing about this woman's condition, but I doubt it is "undiagnosable." It is undiagnosed, however, or at least you haven't been told her diagnosis.

I also assume that her mental health issues are not a result of her isolation, but possibly the cause of it.

She might be agoraphobic, a hoarder, alcoholic, depressed or have any number of other health issues affecting her ability to meet you.

Whatever her malady, you are making a mistake to take this personally. She was this way before you came along and she may not improve without treatment.

You might have some success if you contact her via social media, email or postal mail. Don't pile on the guilt (this will only make things harder for her), but keep things light and let her know that you are very happy in your relationship with her wonderful son.

Although it is obvious that you and your boyfriend need to communicate more frankly and fully, I hope you won't pressure him or his mother about meeting. You should instead encourage him to help her obtain the health care she needs. As you contemplate a future together, she will be a part of it, even if you don't spend time with her.

Dear Amy: I like to travel. When I travel, I fly first/business class.

If I decide to travel with someone, I like to sit with my travel companion so I have someone to talk to and plan things with. That's why you have the companion, right?

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