Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Family loan turns relative into scofflaw

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

I am already trying to figure out where I fit in. Some people have embraced me, while others play the reverse racism card. How do I know what he feels for me is genuine when he espouses views that openly favor people of color?

I am open to his invitation for us to get to know each other, and I really don't care what others may say, but I am mindful of the backlash. I don't want to face racial prejudice. How can I even attempt to have this conversation with him? Should I?

-- Wondering

Dear Wondering: You state that your race doesn't matter to you, and yet it does. Of course it does.

Black lives do matter. It would be hard to argue with this true statement about the value of human life, and the importance of acknowledging the reality and challenges of contemporary life for people of color.

If this man and his friends are racist, then you aren't going to want to hang out with them. But if they are trying to explain themselves and their view of the world, given their perspective as people of color, then this might be an eye-opening and potentially life-changing experience for you.

You can only have this experience by diving in and having it. Talking about race is important. You could start by asking this guy to explain how he feels about people who don't have his skin tone. Does he have white friends other than you? Do you have black friends, other than him? You may find parallels between your experiences.

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Dear Amy: I identified with "Pet-Friendly Guy," who had just spent a lot of money on veterinary bills for his cat.

I was in his shoes several years ago. After hearing that I spent a lot of money on vet bills for my cat, my aunt said, "You are too attached to that cat." My response: "At least I'm not too attached to cocaine, alcohol, etc."

-- Still Attached

Dear Attached: You've just made the argument for why some people seem to prefer their animals to people. Our pets don't judge us.


(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)



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