Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Architect engages in poorly designed deception

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Tinder makes it very easy to quickly connect with people. This seems to accelerate the whole dating dynamic in all sorts of ways. Not only are people closing the deal much faster, but an ancillary result of this speed-matching is that people are also less interested in putting up with shenanigans. Because Tinder users know that there are always other people out there to meet.

Dear Amy: Being an "unashamed animal lover," I recently spent a lot of money on a cat, who was very ill and has since recovered because of the expensive treatment I paid for.

A frugal (cheap!) relative of mine heard of my expense and has been broadcasting it to the family, saying that I'm foolish and extravagant.

I'm no longer speaking to her, and in fact I've stated that I'd never spend "near" that amount on her if she was ill. Furthermore, I refuse to attend any family gathering that she would attend. So, Amy, am I wrong about this? Don't I have the right to spend what I want on my own animals?

-- Pet-Friendly Guy

Dear Pet-Friendly: Congratulations, you are in a catfight! And just like catfights involving actual cats, it is undignified and over something trivial.

You are being rude and inconsiderate. Your relative is also being rude and inconsiderate, but unfortunately by slinging insults, you now owe her an apology.

What she did was in poor taste. You could have taken the high road and responded with a simple chuckle and shoulder shrug, or my mother's favorite situation-diffusing line: "OK, and what's your point?"

Any number of responses could have put this spat to bed, but you have chosen to escalate it -- and are dragging your other relatives into your feud.

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I also love my pets like family, and occasionally I've thought about ditching my family events so I can hang out with the four-legged contingent. That's when I remind myself that while my pets are lovely, they can't call me on my birthday, pick me up if I get a flat tire or invite me over for a nice dinner after a tough day.

It's time for the fur to stop flying, and for everyone to settle down and lick their wounds.

Dear Amy: Thanks for your response to "Lonely Woman." She was a 28-year-old woman who was desperate to find love, and was looking in all the wrong places.

She needs to join some organizations. If she wants to meet men, she should go where she will find the kind of men she wants to be with.

-- Avid Reader

Dear Reader: "Lonely Woman" might easily meet men by joining organizations, but first she has a lot of work to do. She seemed woefully out of touch when it came to her own issues. People can't succeed in their relationships unless they are at least somewhat secure and happy with themselves. That's why I suggested that this woman should take a total break from dating.


(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)


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