Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Sibling is frustrated by one-way calling

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: I am a 42-year-old man. I want to fall in love and settle down, but seem unable to. I've had sexual and emotional relationships with women I've been fond of. My longest relationship lasted for a year.

As relationships begin, I'm enthusiastic, but I become bored after three or four months, and I split up with them. After I leave, I feel love, but it is too late, and is it real? Some women have dumped me when they've realized my interest waning.

I've seen friends get married and wish I could be like them, but can't imagine feeling strongly enough.

I come from a loving family (my parents have been married for more than 50 years) and life has been good. I have mild OCD, but many people with this disorder still get married.

I don't believe it's because I haven't met the right person. I've dated many women and some would have made great long-term partners.

Is it possible that I don't want a committed long-term relationship and deep down, prefer to be on my own?

-- Unattached

Dear Unattached: Your history of getting bored and leaving relationships may be related to your OCD. I'm guessing here, but the pattern you describe is of you compulsively leaving relationships -- even when you know the relationship is good and when your partner is suitable for a long-term relationship.

OCD isn't only about compulsive behaviors or cleanliness rituals. It is an anxiety disorder marked by obsessions and compulsive thinking. Your thinking causes you to leave, and afterward (according to you), you often have regrets and feelings of love toward the person you've left.

Discuss your entire relationship history, and your OCD, with a professional counselor.

Dear Amy: "Heartbroken and Sad" reported that some fishing equipment had walked away from their lake house after their nephew and his children visited.

I agreed with your take on this (most likely it was a mistake), but to prevent this sort of thing happening in the future, they should mark or label all of their equipment.

-- Gone Fishin'

Dear Gone: Definitely.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)

 

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