Spouse worries about awkward in-law love
Should I confront my dad and tell him to put his family first?
Dear Upset: Yes, you should confront your father.
No, you shouldn't tell him to put his family first.
The reason you shouldn't tell your father how to run his priorities is because the minute you start telling him how to behave, he's going to stop listening and become defensive. And then he'll turn the focus to your behavior, and how you invaded his privacy.
Speak to him privately. Cop to what you did (get that out of the way), and then tell him how all of this makes you feel. Use "I" statements: "I'm worried," "I'm upset," "This makes me feel really upset about you and mom."
None of this is your fault. I hope your father can get it together.
Dear Amy: Your kind reminder, in response to "Dad of a Transgender," is inspired and worthy of a bumper sticker: "Our perceptions are changing, one conversation at a time." Thank you.
-- Patricia in Seattle
Dear Patricia: Thank you very much.
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