Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Marriage flounders over financials

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Because your wife blindsided you with her shocking reaction to your communication issue, you should write down how you feel and what you are thinking about, and prepare to use your written thoughts as a guide when you confront her about the way she has handled this current challenge.

Use "I" statements: "When you said 'It's over,' I felt completely blindsided. I don't know how to respond." The first rule of fair fighting is not to threaten the entire relationship.

You two should work together to find new and specific ways to communicate about finances. A regular, planned "date night" (whether you go out or stay in) without kids will give you the space to catch up on business matters. You also need to emotionally reconnect. You both need to take a breath and be deliberately patient and loving right now.

Dear Amy: My parents live in a metropolitan area with three airports. One is 15 minutes from my parents' home, another is 30 minutes; the third is an hour and 15 minutes away.

My 58-year-old brother insists on booking his air travel to the airport that is furthest away.

My parents have asked him not to travel through that airport, but he continues to because it is cheaper (he does not have financial troubles).

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I think that's fine, but if he continues to choose that airport, I think he should have to rent a car or cab out to my parents' home.

My parents are in their late 80s, and I suspect that if I don't pick my brother up they will go get him.

I have told my mom that if they continue to pick him up at that airport, he will continue to fly in to there, and that they are punishing me when they insist that I spend two and a half hours PLUS to pick him up.

This is all happening at Thanksgiving. I don't want to upset them, but I'm tired of this dance.


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