Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Newlywed wonders if there are weekends on the ranch

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

-- Very Hurt New Wife

Dear Very Hurt: I think there is hope for your marriage, but not if you hang out quietly, waiting for your husband to come home and pay attention to you.

Your hope and expectation -- to have six hours of companionship during one weekend day -- is completely reasonable. If you two shared a faith practice, you might do what many families do on Sundays -- attend services and then enjoy a Sunday lunch. Deliberately carving out time would be good

You say your husband worked nonstop when you were dating. If he promised to change, and you believed him, then you're dealing with a classic case of the triumph of hope over experience.

Your life will be ever-thus, but it could be a quality life, if you are able to adjust. Can you engage more actively on the ranch?

My husband and I both grew up on farms, and we still have that seven-day mentality, but we do lots of chores together. Sometimes, riding out to a far-off field in the truck is the equivalent of "quality time." If you have those opportunities, you should take them.

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Otherwise, understand that this might not be the life for you. Give this marriage more time to gel, and then make a choice regarding your own future.

Dear Amy: Several years ago, my parents and godparents got into business together. In the past couple of years, the business relationship has gone sour, and they have since dissolved the business.

This involved a lot of false accusations, name-calling and general nastiness on both sides.

They have tried to keep the "kids" out of it, but I definitely feel the strain with my godparents, and find it can be awkward when we are all at family functions.


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