ArcaMax

In this case, you responded with a sarcastic putdown, but he needs to realize that every time he assails you publicly, his own reputation takes a hit, and this dynamic between you makes others uncomfortable.

It would be easy to change this, but that would depend on your husband being a good champion, instead of a chump. A marriage counselor could help you two to sort this out, but until then I agree that you should avoid his rudeness publicly through avoiding the topic, denying him the opportunity to parade his lack of regard for you.

Dear Amy: My wife and I support her 79-year-old father financially.

We pay for all of his expenses, and I've also given him a credit card for "emergency situations." He lives by himself in a nearby city, and we see him often.

Several months ago, I started noticing charges on the credit card bill for pornographic websites, hookup sites and sites for adult products. The charges totaled several hundred dollars.

After investigating, the credit card company said that these charges were indeed legitimate, and were actually made by my father-in-law.

My wife and I confronted him about this. He admitted to it, seemed embarrassed, and we agreed to forget the incident.

My wife now wants to urge her father to get psychiatric help for sex addiction. My thought is that he's a single, lonely old man and to not make a big deal out of this. She won't let it go, and it's now a hot issue for us.

How do I get her to move on?

-- Upset Husband

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