Life Advice


Health & Spirit

Wife wonders about siblings' bathroom habits

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Many siblings that grew up in close households and perhaps shared a bathroom with other family members throughout their childhoods wouldn't think twice about sharing their bathroom ablutions.

Because this bothers you so much, you should probably express your concern directly to these two, instead of passively trying to get your message across. But you should also anticipate some bewilderment on their part.

Dear Amy: My husband and I are getting divorced as a result of his longtime physical and emotional love affair with someone else, coupled with other random physical/sexual encounters throughout our marriage.

We have a close-knit circle of friends who will be surprised that we're splitting up.

Without bad-mouthing my husband, when asked, I would like to speak "my truth" about our divorce to our friends, especially the wives with whom I am very close.

I definitely have not been the perfect wife -- for instance, we have three kids (ages 13, 15, 17), and I didn't always prioritize my husband and our relationship over the children.

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By the same token, I have never cheated on him, physically or emotionally, and I never would.

Is it OK to speak frankly, but in a factual and nonjudgmental way, about what happened?

Or do I owe my husband some sort of privacy or "respect" and therefore must speak vague platitudes such as "We grew apart" or "We wanted different things"?

-- What May I Say?


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