Eldest sibling wonders how to share the wealth
After a breakup, you feel so bad because you feel so much.
A breakup usually starts with drama and ends in grief. True grieving involves heartache. Your heart/gut/head actually hurts. No one wants to feel this way. Our human instincts scream out to avoid feeling this way. Some people medicate their way around their grief with alcohol, drugs, and one-night stands.
A brave person feels her feelings when she is having them.
Understand your own temperament, and look for healthy ways to soothe yourself when you feel bad. What works for me is spending time in nature and listening to (and making) music, reading Mary Oliver and watching old episodes of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show."
You might benefit from the wisdom of the Buddhist thinker Pema Chodron. Listen to her lecture "Don't Bite the Hook."
Dear Amy: Poor "Upset Mother!" She was worried because her daughter-in-law decided to spend her 40th birthday with friends, instead of with her husband and kids.
Boohoo. Let this woman do what she wants. It's her birthday!
-- Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: I can understand why this woman's husband and kids were upset by her choice to spend her 40th birthday 3,000 miles away, but it was not "Upset Mother's" business.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)