Life Advice

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Eldest sibling wonders how to share the wealth

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Write something to the effect of: "I've been very lucky, and feel that part of my good luck is to have you as a sibling. I've reached a phase in my life where I am happy to share my good fortune with people who mean a lot to me. Please accept this gift. I hope you will use it in whatever way makes you happy."

Understand before you do this that some people are uncomfortable receiving gifts that they can never reciprocate. Some of your siblings may have an unexpected reaction to it. You might have one or more checks returned to you. You might not receive the acknowledgment or thanks that you feel you deserve.

This is the heavy lift of generosity: When you give, you have to also let go. In this case, letting go translates into not only letting go of your assets, but also any expectation attached to your generosity.

Dear Amy: This isn't exactly a request for advice, I guess, but really I just want to hear some wisdom from you (if you have any on this subject).

I'm wondering about breakups. I'm an almost 30-year-old woman, and I've been in a handful of serious relationships. Sometimes I end it, and sometimes the other person ends it.

I get it that no one probably enjoys ending a relationship, but I seem to take breakups particularly hard. I wonder why this is, and if there are things I can do to avoid feeling this way in the future.

 

Your thoughts?

-- Laying Low

Dear Low: One surefire way to avoid a painful breakup is to avoid a committed love relationship. (If you're going to go this route, I'd suggest that you not only avoid people, but pets, too.)

My point is that any attachment will eventually lead to loss. Sometimes, the very concept of attachment gets a bad rap, but I think that attachment to fellow living creatures is something to celebrate, as long as you aren't too tethered to a particular outcome.

...continued

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