Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

Sisters ponder forcing elderly mother to move

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: My sister and I are having difficulties dealing with our aging mother. Our parents are divorced, and because my sister lives several states away, most of the responsibility falls to me.

My mother lives about an hour from me. She is 79 and lives on her own. We have determined that it would be best that my mother move to an independent living community about 10 minutes from me.

She no longer takes care of her house, which is too large and has too many stairs. She has gone weeks without showering, not because she can't, but because she doesn't feel she needs to.

Her diet is poor, her memory is getting worse, and she's gotten lost a few times driving on her own. She now needs assistance from me with doctors' appointments.

She refuses to move. She claims she has moved too many times, and wants to stay where she is.

I want her to make it easier for me to get to her and tend to her needs.

I work a lot, including travel out of state. I would feel better if she were in a community where help is available when I'm away.

I'm torn between forcing her to move and leaving her where she is to live as she wants.

Any advice?

-- Unsure

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