Can former flames become fast friends?
Dear Amy: My younger sister "Annie" and I have never been very close, but I've always attributed that to me being cut from a different cloth.
Our parents are successful in their careers. Annie has followed their fine example and even raised the bar by purchasing her first home and paying for her own beautiful wedding -- all before she turned 27. I brag to my friends about her often.
I, on the other hand, did not follow "the plan." I did not attend college. I rent a very small studio apartment, work a mediocre job that I like, and make enough money to enjoy my life without all the flashy possessions that seem to define success to the rest of my family. I am happy with my life.
At Annie's wedding earlier this year, I helped usher guests, walked with my mother to our seats during the ceremony, and sat with my immediate family for dinner. However, throughout the evening, I was approached by three separate "close friends" of my sister's, who each had a strikingly similar comment for me: "Your sister has been one of my best friends for nearly a decade and I had no idea she had a brother." If one person had said this, I wouldn't notice -- but this was a real pattern.
I haven't mentioned any of this to my sister or our parents because I don't know if it would matter, but it still bothers me.
What do you think I should do?
-- Upset Brother
Dear Upset: I can understand why this has upset you. But one reason you and your sister aren't closer is because you don't communicate. Respectfully stating how you feel may ultimately bring you closer, and I think you will feel better.
You should contact "Annie." Tell her how nice her wedding was. And tell her about these comments and how they made you feel. Say, "I've always been very proud of you and your success, and I really do wish we were closer. Maybe we can work on that...?"
Dear Amy: "Sale of the Century" asked you an ethical question about returning to the store to pay for a pair of jeans that the cashier had mistakenly not charged them for.
I'd say: If the cashier had charged me twice for that pair of jeans, would I go back to the store and say something?
Turnabout is fair play.
-- Patricia
Dear Patricia: I love your answer.
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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, 16650 Westgrove Drive, Suite 175, Addison, Texas, 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)
