Mother-in-law refuses day care idea
Dear Amy: My mother-in-law has no tact and no respect.
That being said, she is well-intentioned and kind in her own way. She loves her kids and her grandkids.
Her attitude is that she raised three boys and she knows best. She doesn't care that you're supposed to put babies to sleep on their backs or that you're not supposed to use blankets in newborn cribs, or whatever it is; she is going to do it her way.
She has used this approach with our nephew and it infuriates my sister-in-law (and me).
Now that we are expecting a baby, she announced to me today that "no grandchild of hers goes to day care," so she will be baby-sitting.
I don't trust her with my baby. I've seen her with my year-old nephew. My husband agrees and is on the same page.
We are just stumped. How do we tell her that she won't be watching our baby or that our baby will be going to day care?
I've tried to lay some groundwork, like talking about all of the social benefits of day care or how there are really nice ones close to my work, or how it will all work out, but it isn't sticking.
At the end of the day it is our decision and we haven't even settled on anything yet! Who is she to dictate what we do with our child and how do we tell her "no" without wrecking our relationship?
-- Expecting and Uneasy
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