Retired colleague is tired of social work
Dear Amy: Now retired, I was always the one at work that instigated get-togethers with colleagues.
We worked for a government organization and therefore there were NEVER dinners or social occasions sponsored by the employer because we were using taxpayers' money.
I instigated birthday parties, often out of my pocket, or we'd have an end-of-the-year blowout and I'd organize people to chip in money to buy steaks for the grill and everyone would bring a dish to pass.
Now after retirement, it seems it's up to me to call everyone and find an agreeable date for whatever the event, mostly just to reconnect and for fun.
I'm burnt out and offended that it's left up to me. No one calls me just to visit, and I've just had it.
If we were such great friends, I feel it should be up to everyone to make these events happen.
I'm wondering what your thoughts are.
-- Burned Out in Michigan
Dear Burned Out: I think it's possible that these people aren't really your great friends, but instead are amenable former colleagues who will lazily accept an invitation or agree to a plan if you do all the work. I give great credit to the social fixers like yourself who remember birthdays, organize special occasions, and show up at the office with baked goods and a smile. Work life would be a colorless experience of gray-scaled drudgery without you.
However, many people look forward to retirement partly for the joy of finally being independent from the social niceties that crop up at work and which sometimes seem more like a forced connection than a real friendship.
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