ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I live with a roommate who is in her 60s and heterosexual. I am in my 30s and a lesbian.

Recently she informed me that she was going to be hosting a male companion for dinner, drinks and dancing. I had plans and asked her if she wanted me to sleep elsewhere or if she wanted to text me when he was gone. She said to come home anytime.

I returned home to a car in the driveway and the lights off. I went inside to music blaring. I grabbed my dog to take her outside and noticed my roommate's bedroom door was closed. I then went into my room and tried to ignore the music and go to bed.

I am not sure if I should address the awkwardness of that night. I specifically tried to avoid the situation by asking if I should stay gone but I feel like it went straight over her head.

I will be moving out in a couple months and wonder if I should keep quiet to avoid ruining our friendship?

-- Awkward

Dear Awkward: Your roommate had a late-night visitor. She gave you advance notice, and -- other than the music blaring when you returned home -- this occurrence doesn't seem to have had much of an impact on you.

You don't mention any mutual prohibition to having overnight guests, but if her behavior -- or her guest's -- caused problems for you, you should definitely mention it. Otherwise, her evening of dinner, drinks, and dancing, seems more an opportunity for a "high five" than awkwardness between roommates.

Dear Amy: When I was growing up, my mother was extremely abusive to my siblings and me. Our father was out of the picture. She put us through hell. She struggled with untreated mental illness and prescription drug addiction, along with other sick behaviors. When we were in our teens it was so bad that social services took us away from her for about a year. She never got better.

I never hid my dislike for my mom from my friends, even as an adult.

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