ArcaMax

Dear Amy: My husband of 40-plus years, "Paul," is an elected official in our city. Paul is also involved in politics on the state and national level.

He is clearly respected. People often engage me when he is not around and ask how he feels about a certain issue or candidate.

If I answer, I often find myself embroiled in an uncomfortable conversation. I have tried redirecting people to Paul, but they usually barge ahead with their comments. Because of my marriage, they seem to assume that politics is "my thing" too.

This is getting more and more challenging, especially in today's political climate. I'm trying to come up with a statement that will let people know I want to stay away from political conversations. Should I say, "Could we please talk about other things -- I'm on a political fast?"

I want to be both tactful and clear about my intentions. What can you suggest?

-- The Wife

Dear Wife: I like your response -- it is clear and polite. Following up your statement with a question directed at your inquisitor might further redirect the conversation, although it does occur to me that even a polite query about the weather ("Wow, can you believe this drought?") can be made political these days.

I further suggest carrying a supply of your husband's business cards. You can hand one out and say, "I can't speak for my husband, but his email address in on here; I hope you will feel free to get in touch with him."

I face this issue (to a lesser extent) because of the work I do. And so when I'm having coffee at the local diner and someone approaches me with a personal problem they would like me to try to fix, I will sometimes say, "That sounds like a good question for my column. Why don't you send it to me and I'll see if I can tackle it?" This is a way to try to differentiate between the personal and professional, which is what you are politely trying to do.

Dear Amy: I went out with a girl over three weekends in a row. Then we had school holidays, so I haven't seen her for three weeks.

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