Woman's weight suddenly bothers sick friend
Dear Amy: I am a woman, worried about a close personal (male) friend that I have known for more than 10 years.
We have been colleagues and also socialize outside of work. I consider him a mentor. He is married and is quite a bit older than I. We have an almost familial relationship.
He has had some health issues. Now I feel like he is becoming a shut-in. The last few times I have visited, he has made disparaging and critical remarks about my weight.
He has never done this before, and it makes me very uncomfortable.
I have been overweight my whole life. I was overweight when he met me, and he has literally never mentioned it before now.
The remarks he makes are things like, "When are you going to do something about your weight? You really should start exercising and controlling what you eat."
Quite frankly, I am not trying to impress him; my weight is not his business. I know he needs my support right now, but he makes me feel rotten and uncomfortable when he says these things, to the point where I do not want to visit him, especially if there are other guests present to hear these statements.
What should I say to him? I value his friendship, but lately he has made it hard for me to enjoy our time together.
-- Fat-So? In Fla.
Dear Fat-So?: Your friend's health and current circumstances might be affecting his personality or filter, but this doesn't mean that you need to accept statements that make you feel bad.
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