Life Advice

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Woman ponders disclosing long-ago choice

By Amy Dickinson, Tribune Content Agency on

Dear Amy: For the first time in many years, I have been thinking about an episode from my earlier life.

I got pregnant one month before my 16th birthday. It was literally the first time I'd had sex; we used a condom, and it broke. That's all it took.

As you can imagine, I was devastated. I know it sounds dramatic, but I felt betrayed by life, and I decided to terminate my pregnancy.

Well, 19 years later, I'm actually still friends with my ex, who lives in another state. He is married and has gorgeous children and I couldn't feel happier for him!

My current boyfriend (of eight years) is ... "OK." We have our issues due to his online habits, where he gets involved with other women.

But, despite his lapse in judgment concerning these so-called "emotional affairs," do I "owe it to him" to tell him the truth about my history?

 

He wants children someday. I have ZERO desire for children, or to be a mother.

He just assumes that all women want to have babies.

I really want to tell him of my past, but I'm 35 now. Does my choice when I was a teenager really matter? If it does and he judges me, does HE matter?

-- Not a Mom

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