Man and his mate might be mismatch
Dear Amy: I am a mature 25-year-old college-educated man with a great career.
I was on the dating scene for several years when I met "Julie" -- the girl of my dreams.
We fell deeply in love and after four months we began to speak of a long-term future together. We seemed compatible in all the important ways for a good marriage, and I was happier and more secure with her than with any other woman I ever knew.
Julie had just ended a long-term relationship when we met, and one day she told me that this old lover was coming through town and wanted to see her. She asked me if I cared, and I said that it was her business and to do whatever she thought was appropriate.
I later found out that she spent the weekend with him. When I confronted her, she said that she was "only saying goodbye." She said the tryst "didn't mean anything," and had nothing to do with her love for me.
Apparently she thought it was "appropriate" to sleep with this guy, and that doing so wasn't really cheating on me.
I was shocked and appalled. My problem isn't just that she slept with an old lover, but that she seems to think that such behavior was perfectly reasonable and I shouldn't be upset about it.
Now I wonder if I really know her at all, and am thinking that I should break off our relationship, even though I love her with all my heart.
Amy, should I end this relationship, or take my chances that she will break my heart again?
-- Conflicted
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