Groom ponders bridal shower etiquette
Dear Amy: I am a groom-to-be. My fiancee and I grew up eight hours away from each other. My mother and my fiancee are close. Several months ago, my mom planned a bridal shower in my hometown. My fiancee's family was annoyed, upset and somewhat hostile about this, thinking that my mother was trying to usurp their role.
My mother had assumed that they would also host a bridal shower in their hometown.
They said they have never heard of someone having more than one bridal shower. They were quite vocal with me about it.
My future in-laws have not yet met my mother, who is one of the kindest, most polite people you could ever meet. This was quite hurtful to me.
After planning their own shower, my fiancee's family has now decided not to have it. They have basically invited themselves to the one my mother is hosting.
This makes things super-awkward, because we don't have room for them at the venue. We already had to trim the list to fit.
Did my mother violate etiquette by planning a shower? Is there a polite way to tell my fiancee's family (mother and two sisters) that there is no space for them?
-- Frustrated Groom
Dear Groom: The most appropriate people to throw bridal showers are not mothers or mothers-in-law, but bridesmaids, or friends of the couple who live in the town where the couple resides.
This current dust-up illustrates one good reason behind this recommendation. But yes, it is fine to have two parties in two different towns.
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