ArcaMax

Dear Amy: I was snooping in my son's basement and discovered he is growing weed. Should I confront him? He could lose his job, house, reputation and shared custody of his daughter.

I am a nervous wreck thinking about how to approach him. My husband would have a stroke if he found out. I know I should do something, but what?

-- Sad Mom

Dear Sad: Here's what you should do: Stop snooping in your son's basement.

Unless he has a sophisticated commercial marijuana ranch down there, you should assume this is for his own use, and leave it alone.

If you absolutely cannot stand it and must confront him about this, you will have to tell him the truth about your own behavior. One natural consequence of your admission would be for him to stop trusting you.

If you are ready to make this sacrifice, you should only urge him not to expose his child to his marijuana growing and weed use. Obviously, if you found this in the basement, so could she, and this would put his daughter in an even worse position than you are in, because involving her in this sort of secret could be ruinous for their relationship, and disastrous down the line.

State laws regarding marijuana cultivation seem to be quite convoluted. If he doesn't have a license to grow and is caught (by someone other than you) the consequences could be extreme in proportion to his crime.

Dear Amy: My daughter, 9, is in Girl Scouts. She loves it. I offer a lot of my time helping out the troop. Today, they went to an ice show in which the troop paid for the tickets, so this was not an out-of-pocket expense for us.

The parents were asked to either provide a snack for their daughters, or send money for the girls to buy a snack. We opted to send a snack instead of sending money, as we struggle financially.

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