Good deed goes unnoticed in the pew
Dear Amy: Recently we had a heavy snowfall. The next day I called a neighbor to see if he needed a ride to church services. He gratefully accepted.
When we approached the church I noticed that he stopped in the vestibule, as if procrastinating in sitting down. I took my seat and minutes later turned around to see him sitting three rows away. After the service, I waited in the parking lot for some time until he finally came up to the car.
We chatted on the way home, but once I was alone I realized that he did not want to be seen with me. I'm good enough to talk to, but not good enough to sit next to?
Is this socially unacceptable behavior? Shouldn't people be gracious enough to sit with the person that offered them the transportation?
I can't seem to let it go.
-- Weather Beaten
Dear Weather Beaten: You were kind to offer this ride to your neighbor, but you should not have expected any particular or specific behavior from him, other than an expression of gratitude.
Worshiping is slightly different for everyone. In my little church, we all assume the exact same seats, week after week, year after year. This is not ideal, and your letter is a reminder that when we mix things up, new relationships and connections can be formed.
Many people prefer to sit by themselves during worship. Additionally, your neighbor might have felt too awkward or presumptuous to assume that your offer of a ride was really an offer to share the experience with him. I hope you will forgive his awkward reaction and move forward.
Dear Amy: I'm in my early 20's. Since we were little kids, two of my cousins and I have been very close. My grandmother baby-sat all of us. We lived five minutes away from each other, rode the school bus together and, when we were teenagers, after the loss of their mother, they spent every night at my house.
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