ArcaMax

His family should respect his (and your) wishes, but you have handed them ammunition to cast you in the role of the bad guy. You can prove them wrong by being polite, not taking the bait and becoming more secure in your rights and wishes. Your boyfriend should also see them when he wants to and keep his distance when he feels disrespected.

You should both read, "Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage," by Susan Forward (2002, Harper Perennial).

Dear Amy: I have been married to my husband for 42 years, and every year I wonder why I stay. I don't believe in divorce, but can see why some people do. If I had known how much he would change after we got married, I would not have married him.

I know sex isn't everything in a marriage but mere weeks after we got married, he turned me away and I was devastated. I wondered what I did wrong.

Here we are, 42 years later, and it is worse than it was then. In the last six months I don't think he has even kissed me, and I can't remember the last time he hugged me.

I finally gave up on making the first move because it hurt too much to be rebuffed.

I couldn't survive financially if I left him. I guess I'll just have to suffer in silence. Any advice?

-- Suffering in Silence

Dear Suffering: If you intend to stay in this marriage, don't suffer in silence. Talking about this may be the toughest thing you have ever done, but you must try. Honestly talking about your feelings (and not just about the hurt) can help you to reclaim some intimacy.

Couples can become sort of frozen in silences, where the enormity of their feelings can seem too overwhelming to express.

Your husband may associate hugging and kissing and other endearments as foreplay to sex, and because he doesn't seem to want to have sex, you can encourage him to simply be close to you, without the pressure of sex.

Counseling will help both of you, but if he won't commit to meeting you in this way, please go by yourself.

Dear Amy: "Worried Hubby" was threatened by a deep friendship his wife had with a man at work. A quick "rule" about outside friendships is if the spouse is disclosing things to the friend she should be telling the husband, then they have a problem.

-- Been There

Dear Been There: Exactly. Thank you.

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(You can contact Amy Dickinson via email: askamy@amydickinson.com. Readers may send postal mail to Amy Dickinson, c/o Tribune Content Agency, LLC., 16650 Westgrove Dr., Suite 175, Addison, TX 75001. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or "like" her on Facebook.)