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Annie's Mailbox: Confused Girlfriend

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar on

Dear Annie: I am 17 years old and still in high school. I recently became "Jake's" girlfriend. We've been dating for about a week.

I've known Jake as a friend for a year, and we hang out with the same group. I never had feelings for him until I learned that he liked me, and even then, my friends kind of pushed me into the relationship.

His last relationship didn't last long, partly because he and the girl had sex right away. When Jake and I started dating, I told him I am a religious girl and am not going to do sexual things with him. Well, we went to prom together and back to his house afterward, where we were alone. He started to put his hand up the back of my dress. I didn't object because he was mostly stroking my back.

The next day, we went to his house to watch a movie, and he started jumping all over me. It made me uncomfortable, but I'm not good at communicating that, so I didn't say anything. I just didn't respond. Jake is also a sloppy kisser, and I'm not sure I can tolerate that.

Today I realized that I have feelings for another guy, and now I don't know whether I like him more than Jake. But if I break up with Jake, I will be booted out of our group, and I have no other friends.

I don't know what to do. I feel that Jake is pressuring me a little about sex, even though he hasn't actually demanded anything. Should I stay with him and see where it goes? Should I wait until summer to end it so that the group will have time to adjust without making things super-awkward? Or should I just end things now and face losing my friends? -- Confused Girlfriend

Dear Confused: You already know that you need to break up with Jake because you don't actually like him and you feel pressured. We'd do it now, but if you would feel more comfortable waiting until school is out, that's OK, too. You and Jake might be able to drift apart more naturally then. You might also confide in one of your friends that you and Jake don't seem to be hitting it off as well as you thought. If your friends drop you over this, they aren't truly friends. Real friends have your back.

 

Dear Annie: My girlfriend and I were planning to go away together for a weekend next month while her daughter was staying with the ex. But the ex decided at the last minute to take his own vacation, so we have to bring her along or cancel.

If we cancel the reservation on the hotel room, we lose the deposit, and upgrading to two rooms isn't possible. Is it acceptable for us to sleep in the same bed while her daughter is sleeping on a cot, or should we use separate beds? Or should I try to get a room for myself elsewhere? -- N.Y.

Dear N.Y.: How old is the girl? How long have you and Mom been together? If you and Mom are in a committed relationship, the girl knows you well and she is under the age of 6, you may share a room. Mom and the daughter should take the bed. You get the cot. Otherwise, yes, please try to find another room for yourself. And thank you for caring enough to do the right thing.

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Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of This Classic Annie's Mailbox column was originally published in 2015. To find out more about Classic Annie's Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit Creators Syndicate at www.creators.com.

 

 

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