Up In Smoke
The Major League Eating for flautas is 65 in 10 minutes, held by Ben Monson, who humbly did not flout his ability to eat large numbers of tortillas stuffed with beef and cheese.
Man: "I burned my finger yesterday."
Other man: "What'd you do?"
Man: "I followed that old advice about rubbing some margarine on it."
Other man: "Did it help"
Man: "No, I can't believe it's not better."
"I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in 14 days I lost two weeks."
-- American comedian and singer Joe E. Lewis (1902-1971)