Erika Ettin: Decisive people get dates

By Erika Ettin, Tribune News Service on

Published in Lifestyles

I have an account on Instagram (@ALittleNudge) where I post online dating messages and profiles — often bad ones. I don't post them with the goal of making fun of someone, of course. Rather, I post with the objective of teaching people a lesson, often what not to do. The common theme of these posts is that each one highlights one particular issue (ghosting, for example) and asks people who follow my account to comment on what I post.

A dating — and life — issue that comes up time and time again is that some people these days, perhaps due to technology or just due to their nature, don't have the same sense of commitment that others do. I have too many clients who get ready for Zoom dates (and I do recommend dressing as you would for a real first date ... at least from the waist up) only to discover that their date is a no-show. Or someone will arrange a date for a Monday and finalize those plans the previous Thursday. By the time Monday rolls around, that person is long gone, and the date never happens.

Pre-COVID, I posted this exchange from the dating app Bumble, where the woman has to write first:

Her: Friday happy hour works! (I'm seeing a show at 8.)

Him: Happy hour Friday is perfect! What area do you need to be at 8? I will find a place convenient for where you need to be. Want to plan for 5:30/6?

Her: Perfecto! Let's do 6 pm. And the show is at (insert location).


Him: Plenty of options around there. Want to meet at (insert bar)?

Her: That's perfect! Looking forward to it. I also appreciate your taking the initiative in planning. :)

Him: Great! Looking forward to it as well. No problem on the planning, it's my pleasure.

Him (a day before): Good morning! Just wanted to say hello. Looking forward to tomorrow. Have a great end of the week.


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(c)2020 Erika Ettin Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC