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The God Squad: The Voice

Rabbi Marc Gellman, Tribune Content Agency on

Q: ­­I read your "Why do we pray" column with the usual great interest I bring to your columns. When I read the ending which quoted the Psalm 130, I knew I had to write.

Many years ago, I was quite ill. I remember sitting up in bed and praying this Psalm again and again with increasing fervor. I remember asking God if He would be with me in my trial. Suddenly, He said, "Yes." It wasn't a spoken word. I wasn't hearing voices as I suppose a skeptic might suggest. It was something indescribable. The only way to describe it was that it was a voice that is not a voice.

Before this experience of the voice my prayer life meant that I would yammer on endlessly and forget that I was supposed to be listening. But I never expected an answer, so I was profoundly shaken when I got one. I know that God often answers us through the events of our lives and the people in our lives rather than directly as He did me in that moment, but when I thought about it, I realized that the question He chose to answer so directly was key: "Will you be with me in my trial?" I go through the rest of my life ever since that day knowing that I have my own personal assurance that He will always be there with me on the strength of that one word, "Yes."

Just as a measure of how blind and oblivious we humans can be (or at least this one), I will add that it was only years later that I made the connection that my illness mysteriously ended and did not return after that. I was so focused on the awe-inspiring spiritual aspect that it took me a ridiculously long time to realize that He took care of me practically as well. Makes you grateful that God has infinite patience with us. But all of this happened in the midst of my praying the De Profundis with fervor. Thanks for your column. -- (From L)

A: Beautiful. What I like most was your question. You did not ask if God could heal you. You asked if God would be with you during your trials. That is the right question because it is not a request to be healed. It is a request to be accompanied and that is God’s greatest gift to us all. Now go back and sprinkle in a little Psalm 23, “Thou art with me.” God bless you.

And from the mailbag;

This thoughtful and expert comment is why my mom always wanted me to be a doctor — like my brother. -- MG

I read your “Caring for Mom” column, with the Question: “What happens when you just don’t know what to pray for?” The elderly mother who had been independent had a “fairly minor surgery” followed by a “complete decline” needing to be in a “rehab facility” and becoming wheelchair bound, with it “seems like she is experiencing the onset of dementia.” A substantial change following a hospitalization (or otherwise) supports the need for a neurological consultation and careful review of her medical situation.

 

This degree of change needs an answer, not a “seems like.” The family needs to know what happened and why, and whether the current situation is reversible or not. For example, essential medications (such as Thyroid or B12) could have accidentally been stopped. During the surgery, some anesthetics cause problems if there are certain deficiency states. Perhaps there was hypotension during the procedure, or a stroke.

The answer to their prayers may be to have Mom see a highly competent and thorough neurologist and internist, providing the family with the definitive medical answers, and then with accurate information, then to proceed with rejoicing with restoration, or grateful acceptance and deliberation and decision about the course ahead.

I don’t know, of course, if this is a current situation or what has been done, but perhaps the above encouragement will guide that family to a better situation yet. Your thoughtful council for them, I am sure, was appreciated. -- (From K MD, a neurologist)

I agree with your medical diagnosis but the spiritual problem still remains for all children who have been forced by circumstances to become caregivers for their parents and find that they lack the time or money to care for them in their homes or their parent’s homes. The guilt can be overwhelming and my point is that this guilt is misplaced.

We can only do what we can do and we must balance our obligations to our parents with our obligations to our children and to ourselves. There is no good answer for this, but I have found that honesty and love are essential rescue virtues. -- (MG)

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including “Religion for Dummies,” co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman. Also, the new God Squad podcast is now available.)

©2022 The God Squad. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.


(c) 2022 THE GOD SQUAD DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.

 

 

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