Newfound Love for Working Out
"You were Bright Red Angry Loud-breather?"
Yes. Yes, I was.
After college, I moved to Los Angeles. Over the years, I tried my hand at exercising again. I would take a class here and there, trying kickboxing, Pilates, yoga. The only time I was consistent about going was before my wedding.
No matter the class, I hated it. The women were even more perfect than the sorority girls. Their makeup sharper. Their hair slicker. Their buns tighter. The shirts now had sayings like "Sweat, betches" on them. They were always looking over their shoulder to see whether an agent was taking the class. Under each water bottle was a headshot.
Eventually, I swore off bodily movement altogether.
This past week, I thought I'd try again. Working from home has its perks, but having a social life is not one of them. I needed a place to meet folks, so I joined the Y.
There have been a lot of wonderful discoveries I've made since leaving Los Angeles to live in the wild, but these aerobics classes may be the most surprising one. Men and women of all ages, not a designer shirt in sight, nearly all of them bright red angry loud-breathers.
As the instructor counted down the last seconds of a pose we had to hold or a swift move we had to keep pushing through, one lady yelled out, "This is worse than having to watch 'Showgirls' on repeat." The class laughed. In Pilates, a particularly flatulent lady kept complimenting our instructor by yelling out at each pose, "I'm makin' noises!" Yes, she most certainly was -- loud and unashamedly.
And I loved it. Nothing was being taken seriously in class, and there was a collective disdain for everything we were suffering through. All this time I thought I hated exercise classes, perhaps I was just taking them in the wrong places.
At the end of the group cycling class, an older woman squeezed my shoulder and said, "That was hell, eh? See you next week."
I think I will.
Katiedid Langrock is author of the book "Stop Farting in the Pyramids," available at http://www.creators.com/books/stop-farting-in-the-pyramids. Like Katiedid Langrock on Facebook, at http://www.facebook.com/katiedidhumor. To find out more about her and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate webpage at www.creators.com.