[imitating Trump] They say 200,000 people have died, but I haven’t heard from any of them. Raise your hand if you’ve died of coronavirus. See? Nobody.’
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
To be intoxicated is to feel ...Read More
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to ...Read More
A scientist has come up with proof of something students have known for years -- chemistry lectures are boring. In an article published in the current issue of Chemistry in Britain, a university chemistry lecturer ...Read More
1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? ...Read More
A teacher was asked to fill out a special questionnaire for the state. One question said, "Give two reasons for entering the teaching profession."
The teacher wrote, "July and August."
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but ...Read More