According to former Congressman Dave Trott, the man who presented Trump with the thing he remembers so well, there was no ‘Michigan Man of the Year’ award. What he gave Trump was a framed copy of President Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address. [as Trump] ‘I want to thank President Lincoln for naming me Michigan’s man of the year. This reminds of the time the D.M.V. gave me a beautiful plastic card naming me People’s “Sexiest Man Alive." I keep it in my wallet with the Applebee’s coupon naming me the pope of chicken wings.’
Mother: Why did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well you did say it was my lunch money!
What's a mushroom?
The place they store the school food!
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass ...Read More
A man tells his doctor that his wife has laryngitis. The doctor said there was nothing he could do to cure it.
The man said, "Cure it? I want to prolong it."
- When you convince yourself that Tetris really does improve eye-hand coordination.
- When the radio traffic reporter talks about a backup caused by a crash, and you correct her that a backup is good protection in case of...Read More
- You automatically double-knot everything you tie.
- You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.
- You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and ...Read More
A Plane was flying through the jungle when suddenly the engine stalled. The pilot ejected and drifted gently down to land.
Unfortunately he landed in a large cooking pot which was gently simmering over a low fire.
All ...Read More
• "How much do Windows cost, and do you have to buy each one separately?"
• Customer: "How much do Windows cost?"
Tech Support: "Windows costs about $100."
Customer: "Oh, that's kind of expensive. Can I ...Read More